Adverts #3

(i) Lloyds Bank

BRING ON THE BLACK HORSE!

as Catherine the Great once said.

(ii) Eggs

GO TO WORK ON A LEG

or, if you're feeling kinky,

then maybe you could use two.

Look, I'm not going

to sit here

and tell you what you should do...

(iii) Kia-Ora

Pursued across the desert

by a procession of crows.

One plucks the sun from the sky

and dribbles it like a basketball;

two others carry a piano - why?

"It's too orangey for crows.

It's just for me and my dog."

I scan the horizon.

Nothing but sand dunes

and the shimmering black smudges

of massing corvids.

It seems to me

everybody wants to be

my dog.

(iv) Fruit Pastilles, Fruit Gums and Futons

For your information:

I cannot put a Fruit Pastille in my mouth

without chewing it,

a Fruit Gum in my mush

without spontaneously combusting,

or lay down on a futon

without wanting to press

the nuclear button.

KABOOM!

B.R. 03.05.2021

In 1982, Kia-Ora launched a colourful, animated advertising campaign, directed by Oscar Grillo of Klacto Animations, which used the jingle "We all adore a Kia-Ora", and featured a child in a straw hat, a dog called Fedora who served the drink, and multiple crows who pursued the boy for a drink, with the boy responding with "it's too orangey for crows".


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