Future Lovemaking

What will making love look like

in the twenty-fifth-and-a-half century?

These are the weighty,

                  the Derek Batey matters

that are pressing down on me,

both (Tom) Daley and (Keira) Knightley.

Will our sexual bits

interlock like stickle bricks?

Or will we only get our thrills

by necking sexy pills

as our clapped out organs rust

in grey cemeteries of lust?

All our erotic dreams deceased.

Will they outlaw the two-backed beast?

So 'Bon voyage!', 'Hold hard!', I shout

to the conquistador setting out

down the virginal, unmapped road.

In his rucksack, six cans of stout

and in his ball sac: the code.

B.R. 30.05.2021

Derek Batey, the host of 450 episodes of Mr and Mrs.
"Mr and Mrs - making love to each other,
Mr and Mrs - making love to her brother"
as the lyrics to the theme song did NOT go.