Live at the Horse Trials

Will the defendants please rise?

Barret Holmes stubs out his carrot
Wayne (Is So Close to Pleasure) straightens his mane
Jude Lawless almost neighs something rude
But Hugh and Cry persuades him not to
Inwardly I whinny in dismay
Hooves are hurriedly uncrossed
We stand together in the horsebox
Our once-proud heads now bowed
Unable to look each other in the eye
Outside omnibuses up and go to Chepstow
Where the going's good to soft
But we're too disgraced to dream of races

Judge W. Carson returns his verdict
The courtroom is a shimmering sea of long faces

B.R. 08/05/2013

 
 Beastliness at Bramham Horse Trials. Half an hour before this happened the announcer had warned "that the brown acid that is circulating around us is not specifically too good..." 


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