I Asked For Water (She Gave Me Castrol GTX)

I asked for water.
She brought me Castrol GTX.
She was the meanest of the mean
But the queen of her sex.

She gave me dilithium crystals
When I wanted baccy to smoke.
She tried to take me up the Matterhorn.
I said "For you baby, okey doke."

I asked her for a light
And the world plunged into darkness.
She left me to rot in a stockade
With Debbie McGee and Colin Harkness.*

I bought her a Dior coat.
She bought me a cagoule.
I always thought she was an angel.
She always thought I was a tool.

The church bells are ringin',
The clock tower's all aglow.
Down by Shipley Market Place
A drunk man's singing ELO.
I hope my baby don't leave me no more.

B.R. 11/02/2013

*Colin Harkness played as a striker for Stranraer FC between 1989 and 1992. He scored 31 goals in 94 appearances for The Blues.