And Ting

 

"... So we went down Bridgeway Centre and you'll never guess who was there... Shaniqua... yeah, I know... AND she was wearin' those skanky Ukrainian Moon Boots! She's got no self-respect. Anywaze, I like blanked her you know? After what happened at the Bingham carnival she's like SO dead to me. I know she saw me though... it must have made her sick to see me goin' round with Moz Morrison... and her stood there in her Moon Boots with Jamie, bloody skaghead... she's such a loser... so we paid for our horse burgers and chips and we bogged off home... Moz is great, like he knows how to treat a girl you know? And he's got the equipment... yeah, he got it second-hand off the internet... eh? Erm, I don't know... two cans of Fanta I think. No, hang on, Moz had a cream soda... yeah, I know, dizgusting. Are you goin' to Shaznay's party? Everyone's gonna be there... Darren, Arun, Swizzlestick, Steve-O, Splendessa, Papa Doc Duvalier, Emma, Kirk Stevens, Professor Yaffle... Who's Emma? You know, Emma Royd... that girl with the huge... yeah, that's the one. It's gonna be off the hook. Shaznay's got the keys to her dad's wardrobe. Honestly, you've never seen anything like it... so much stuff. And there's still a case of Kestrel Super Strength left over from New Year's... so you're gonna come? Amaze-balls! Here's the plan... we'll meet at The Cremorne at half three then go on to Les Oiseaux de Paradis... yeah, crazy. Listen, do you know where we can get hold of any dilithium crystals? Scotty said he could get me some but I'd have to like DO things for him in return... too right, I said "No way man, I ain't that desperate..." I'm still gettin' over what I had to do the last time... What? Didn't you hear? Well, I had to take...

The rest of this conversation has been censored in order to protect those of a sensitive disposition. The conversation (and the party under discussion) did NOT end well.

B.R. 09/02/2013