Hang On To Your Beagle

On that day you ran amok

Brandishing a cleaver,

You gave up any hope of

Retrieving your retriever.

Oh Papa, ain't you gonna

Miss your best friend now?

 

You could get a Bichon Frisson

Running up and down your spine.

Great Danes would give you great pains

But Fox Terriers are fine.

You're gonna have to find yourself

Another best friend somehow.

 

Get the Dandie Dinmont blues or

Get a Shih Tzu called Stanley -

That little bastard sure is pretty

But don't kid yourself it's manly.

Oh Papa, ain't you gonna

Miss your best friend now?

 

Put down that pipe and listen to me.

To get a collie would be folly;

You would never be released.

"Why, the source of the fug

Is stretched out on the rug,

Blinking and stinking and Farting for Peace."

 

All the other pooches wouldn't suit cha.

Fly like a beagle into the future.

She's got a bad chest and yellow paws

From all those years of smoking

But your beagle will stay true to you,

Fo' sho' I am not joking.

 

Oh Papa, don't you go and

Miss your old friend now.

If you'd just resheathe your needle

And go out and grasp a beagle,

Then you will have found yourself

Another best friend and how.

 

B.R. 10/11/2012

 

 

Brian Wilson and friend