Flashing Knobs!

Nobody hears
an old woman crying.
My sight grows dim.
The light is dying.

I push away my bouillabaisse,
so tepid and so tasteless.
It reminds me of old lovers
with their stupid, fishlike faces.

Nobody believes me
when I tell them
that British airmen
are hiding in the wardrobe.
I'm just "a stupid old woman".

Où est le cognac?

LeClerc, pass me my ear trumpet...

...but LeClerc, he is not there.
I am talking to ze chair.

'Allo Nighthawk...
A disembodied voice
which nobody else can hear.

Electricity
seems to shoot through me.
The pain pulsates and throbs.

'Allo 'Allo, we meet again...

Ze flashing knobs!
Ze flashing knobs!

B.R. 30/10/2016

'Allo 'Allo! Rose Hill as Madame Fanny La Fan and Gorden Kaye as René Artois (in a cunning disgeez).