Roger Whittaker (The Whistling Man with the Sports Jackets)

The Nice family are going for a drive into the country...

FATHER (Jack Docherty): Now family, we are approaching our deztination. Second twin, would you check the hamper and ensure that our picnic is intact?

SECOND TWIN (Moray Hunter): I'm sorry to report father that whilst you were distracted at the wheel, singing as you were 'No, I Don't Believe in "If" Anymore' by Roger Whittaker, the whistling man with the sports jackets, first twin ate and consumed a Crunchy Honey Nutty bar.

The car screeches to a halt...

FATHER: First twin, you shall walk behind the car at a distance of not less than ten yards, collecting and labelling conkers as you go. I consider this to be a suitable punishment in the light of what I shall now regretfully refer to as "The Health Food Snack Inzident..."

(from ABSOLUTELY Season 2 Episode 6, first broadcast on Channel 4 26/09/1990)