Frangipani

What goes on
in the steaming
                         custardcovered
                                                  frangipani
of your mind?

A critic of note
part man   part-time goat and
~so goes the fable~
an occasional table
declared that you had the best mind
that he had ever tasted

That evening
two dozen academic young horndogs
queued up outside your front door
clutching dessertspoons
                                       tape recorders
and bunches of petrolstation
                                              spray carnations
to their bosoms

After a brief interview-cum-taster session
each man left
aroused but unsatisfied
all with thoughtful looks
upon their sunblushed faces

On their way home
they all assembled
in the Flying Tandoori on
                                         Pizza Beach takeaway*
and not one of them had any idea
of why or how
they had got there

B.R. 01/04/2016


* Thus disobeying that 21st Century Commandment, "Thou shalt not eat takeaway food from an outlet that sells both curries and pizza for such a place is an abomination."

Naff gastronome and ex-Masterchef presenter Loyd Grossman as portrayed by Vic Reeves in The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer