Yog-Sothoth in Sainsbury's

(i)
I summoned Yog-Sothoth in Sainsbury's,
Right by the fucking frozen raspberries.
Old bags tutted at me for courting disaster.
I went and hid amongst the pasta.
The evil being snacked on Müllerice
Whilst waiting for a human sacrifice.

(ii)
You might think I'm kind. You might think I'm sweet
For offering to mind your parakeet
But don't you believe it, honey badger.
I'm a heartjacker. I'm a soul cadger.
I'll have that bird not knowing right from wrong.
In a fortnight he'll be speaking in tongues.


(iii)
The Dark Lord saves his special tasks for me.
That's why I'm stood outside this priory.
Sorry to say, it's one of the crappest.
This beer tastes queer, it's hardly Trappist.
From somewhere inside, I can hear monks chanting
And hot on my heels, hellhounds are panting.


B.R. 25/08/2013