Discount For Jazz Hands

(Captain William "Super" Fligh of HMS Biscuit Boost reflects on his preparations for an ill-starred voyage)

 

I went supply shopping for my expedition,

All of my Munchkins straggling behind me,

Before setting sail for Cannibal Island

(Please, for the love of God, don't remind me).

"My good man, how much for your pemmican?

Oh - as much as that? Discount for jazz hands?"

 

I donned my stovepipe hat and monocle

Before browsing down on the Strand,

Causing coarse greengrocers to point their parsnips.

It was more than a fellow could stand.

Limes, breadfruit, Super Noodles - all crossed off the list.

Waitrose Value Rum - I think you get the gist.

Sat with me crew outside Starbucks, looking
Like Fleetwood Mac after ten years of touring.
Unaware that our trip would end in sodomy
Or that we'd be swapping coffee for urine.
King Neptune and Poseidon? They're daemons, both.
I've seen them smoking reefers off the Cuban coast.

B.R. 09/08/2013

William "Super" Fligh shows off his jazz hands after an evening of rural vandalism and enthusiastic consumption of Cockspur rum