Master Baker
Mary Berry lay gasping on the river bank. Confounded trout! In her hurry to cook it then and there, in a simple butter and dill sauce, she hadn't removed all the ickle bones and one of them had lodged in her throat!
It was lucky that Paul Hollywood had accompanied her on this trip. Whilst Mary was filming this ill-fated gastronomic vignette for her fishtastic new solo series, he was filling his time by engaging in his second favourite pastime of snorkelling in the nearby peat bogs. Seeing that his erstwhile TV partner was in jeopardy, Señor Hollywood emerged from his mucky water filled trench, like a beautiful, bearded, begoggled merman. He tore off his flippers and threw them forcefully at a grebe who was tittering sarcastically in his direction.
Mary lay very still. She had stopped choking because she had stopped breathing. The sound man launched his boom microphone at a sardonic swan before bending over his supine boss in readiness to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation but Hollywood arrived on the scene and stayed his lips.
"I know a better way," he said.
All the crew looked on as the celebrity master baker brought the octogenarian Queen of Cakes back to life in the most unconventional yet satisfying and beautiful way. All apart from the cameraman who exploded in a fit of rage and punched a goose who was honking away excitedly on her mobile phone.
"That usually brings her round," Hollywood explained, putting his flippers back on.
B.R. 22/05/2015
It was lucky that Paul Hollywood had accompanied her on this trip. Whilst Mary was filming this ill-fated gastronomic vignette for her fishtastic new solo series, he was filling his time by engaging in his second favourite pastime of snorkelling in the nearby peat bogs. Seeing that his erstwhile TV partner was in jeopardy, Señor Hollywood emerged from his mucky water filled trench, like a beautiful, bearded, begoggled merman. He tore off his flippers and threw them forcefully at a grebe who was tittering sarcastically in his direction.
Mary lay very still. She had stopped choking because she had stopped breathing. The sound man launched his boom microphone at a sardonic swan before bending over his supine boss in readiness to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation but Hollywood arrived on the scene and stayed his lips.
"I know a better way," he said.
All the crew looked on as the celebrity master baker brought the octogenarian Queen of Cakes back to life in the most unconventional yet satisfying and beautiful way. All apart from the cameraman who exploded in a fit of rage and punched a goose who was honking away excitedly on her mobile phone.
"That usually brings her round," Hollywood explained, putting his flippers back on.
B.R. 22/05/2015
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