Radio 2

Listening
to Radio 2
is a
discombobulating
thing.

Waking up to
The Chris Evans Breakfast Show
is like having my ear
stapled to the siren
of a fire engine

or being catapulted
into a castle full
of wittering
idiots,
all taking singing lessons
from Yoko
Ono.

It does not improve:
broken-hearted Bill Withers on the Jeremy Vine;
Simon Mayo Drive(yourcarintoatree)time.

Steve Wright in the Afternoon
fills me with a sense of impending doom.


When I was no more
than a codling,
I once listened to Radio 1
but it's the preserve of the young
(and they're welcome to it, I tell ya,
like a big jar of nutella).

I once listened to Radio 3.
There was too much diddle-dee-dee.

I once listened to Radio 4
but it was such a crashing bore.
So stark and staticky,
so yakety-yakety.

I'm John Dunn with all that.

So it's Radio 2 for me
on the FM band of eternity,
pervading the airwaves
between here and the hereafter.



Epilog

In the year 2525,
if Ken Bruce is still alive,*
he'll introduce
"Nights in White Y-Fronts"
by The Moody Twats
then he'll go to the weather,
if we still have that.

B.R. 11/01/2017


* Picture Kenneth's disembodied brain in a liquid-filled jar, if you will. You won't? Okay, well, please yourself...

 

Ken Bruce and Simon Mayonnaise in a still from the Radio 2 in-house instructional video "How to Wear Glasses".