Stroopwafel (Hands, Thighs & Boomps-a-Daisy)

(i)

Take a look at these hands
denuded of fey Marigolds

Dem's city hands

These hands have never worked the land

These hands have never encircled the neck
of a Burmese professional pickpocket
whilst on shore leave
then tightened their grip

These are hands that have never

(not even once)

broken the back of a giant stick insect

 

These maulers

These German bands
 

Hands that can only sleep

(perchance to dream)

of following in the handsteps

of Julian Bream

 

I think I'll put them away

 

 

(ii)

 

Have you ever felt a pair like these?

G'wan, have a stroke of my thighs

 

They're made for love

(as you can see)

but they're also handy*

I think you'll agree

for choking Soviet spies

 

I once hired out my thighs

for the rolling of cigars

and my rough bottom

for the striking of matches

but I got hooked on smoking

if you know what I mean

My thighs were plastered

with nicotine patches

 

You're quite right, I'll cover them up

 

 

(iii)

 

Ods bodikins! What larks!

Now what else can I show you?

How about this, may I aks?

Yes, it's a museum piece, it's true

(if they put such things in museums)

 

Yes, it IS unusual

It's probably unique

You can touch it for one pound fifty

For a tenner you can have it for a week

 

B.R. 04/07/2016

 

 

*Oh God! Not the hands again!