Trebuchet of Love

I still remember, my liege,
the pleasure we took laying siege
in those golden glory days.
We loaded up the trebuchet
with jumbo size pork pies
and gargantuan Scotch eggs,
purloined from the banqueting halls.
We watched their meaty flight
through the darkling night
behind thine enemy's walls.

Taunting our prisoners in their cages.
Oh! What fun we had in those Middle Ages!

When they came to ours to settle the score,
acting all tough in their suits of armour,
seeking re-ven-gay, giving us hassle,
piddling against the walls of our castle,
looking down from the ramparts, there was I,
ready with my pan of hot Crisp 'n Dry.

'Twas one long chortlefest! Callooh! Callay!
Way back in ye olde medieval day.


Now, a word for my lass.
I cannot let this pass.
Something has been vexing me.
My sworn enemy (Cyril De Quincey)
said you looked so cute
playing on your lute
at the Midsummer Night's Rave.
Well, a pox on that scoundrel,
that pervy scurvy knave.
I'll dispatch him underground!
I'll put him in his grave!
If I didst otherwise, a fool I should be.
Prithee my sweetheart, dost thou agree?

Oh, I see ...
well, if that's the way the biscuit crumbleth
then GET THEE TO A NUNNERY!

B.R. 27/11/2015

Gordon got kitted out for the Battle of Melton Mowbray. He looked utterly smashing and felt pretty awesome too!