Puman

(for Trixie Mitten, Daisy, Harvey and Binkie Beaumont)


I am torn
when I hear the phone.
Should I answer the call
or make out like
I'm not here at all
and sprint into the undergrowth?

I answer
and again I am torn
upon hearing her dulcet tones.
She's had another row with Jerry.
I don't know what to do for the best.
Should I acquiesce with her request;
tootle around with sympathy and White Grenache
or should I laugh derisively
at her pathetic First World trash?
God help the beast in me.
I SO need Caller ID.


A fortnight later
and she's taking me out,
unwillingly for coffee.
Dear God, how I hate her.
She tells me that things are better
(especially ~ quelle horreur! ~ in the bedroom)
but somehow he still doesn't "get" her.
I try so hard to nod empathically,
to put myself in her place
but I'm dying to sink my fangs
into her Botoxed wreck of a boatrace. 
The tea room fills with steam
and a sense of impending doom.


Now they've gone on a second honeymoon
to the Hotel Stranraer, Zanzibar,
leaving me in charge of
two guinea pigs and a budgerigar...

B.R. 25/09/2014

Cat People. The 1942 version with Simone Simon is tops.