Gallifreyan Gallimaufry

(Now firmly ensconced in "Dun Meddlin" (a residential home for retired Time Lords), The Doctor looks back on his illustrious lives...) 

(i)
My new Kastrian kazoo concerto was played by Mary J. Dalek.
She wore an electric blue thigh boot right up to her neck.

(ii)
I paid my dues to The League of Space Shit Kickers.
I blew them away with intergalactic chicken tikkas.

(iii)
I was punished by the pâtissiers of Peladon.
They chained and whipped me into stiff peaks.
As a process it was very slow going -
It took them from six to eight weeks.

(iv)
I was invited to dinner by my old mucker The Master.
I expected something plain, possibly pasta
But he surprised me with smoked salmon, served on a blini
By a waiter dressed in a Cybermankini.

(v)
There is no will but mine
For I possess the Key to Time.
So put the hoover round,
Clean the place you asshole!
I want to see my face
In that TARDIS console!

B.R. 24/11/2013

(See also Dr Who Annuals, Dinner with Davros and K9 Blues)