Bad Girl

 

In the real world Timothy West (seen here as Bradley Hardacre in Granada Television's brilliant DH Lawrence pastiche "Brass") is one of our finest film, stage and TV actors and is married to the equally wonderful Prunella Scales. In the parallel universe in which this poem is set, he is the love object of a wayward and headstrong young woman. Unlikely? Perhaps, but there you have it...

 

 

Bad girl, where you been?

I waited up till three.

You've been with Timothy West again,

Don't tell no lies to me!

 

Bad girl, where'd you go?

I'm near the end of my tether

With you seducing thespians.

You must think you're very clever.

 

Bad girl, where's your clothes?

That cardigan was brand new!

Would I find it in the woods?

Well, would I find it, damn you?

 

It pains me to say it but you're a vile girl,

Not at all what we had hoped for.

You've thrown everything back in our faces.

Your simply rotten to the core.

There won't be no trips to Goa,

Nor Nuneaton, Nantwich or Krakatoa.

 

You're a real wild one and you like a wild fun*

But I can't look the vicar's spaniel in the eye

After all the things you've done.

I'll tell Prunella Scales (if all else fails)

Then where will you be?

Oh bad girl, wicked, spiteful girl,

We shall see what we shall see...

 

B.R. 2005, revised 2013

 

(* courtesy of Iggy Pop)