Zeitgeist Blues

Zeit·geist

[tsahyt-gahyst]
noun, German.
The spirit of the time; general trend of thought or feeling characteristic of a particular period of time." The story/film/album/Danbury Mint collectable plate captured the zeitgeist..." refers to some tripe which supposedly manages to distill the jaded essence of whatever sorry age we have the misfortune to live in. According to some chin stroker in London.

 

 









 




I've got me a girl
She's seven feet tall
She sleeps in the kitchen
With her feets in the hall

I've got another girl
She's like four foot nine
I put her on my rack
For to stretch her spine

I've got a third girl
She's called 'The Human Hoover'
All things considered
She's my number one lover

I got me a pony
With a face so long
I went away for six month
But it still went on

I went down to the racetrack
To watch that pony run
I was looking at the faces
Looking for the fastest one
One of them looked like Cliff Thorburn*
Boring equine son of a gun

I got me a milk cow
I drove her on home
She gave me brandy butter
Come New Year's she was gone

I got me a pussy cat
They said she had nine lives
After a day in my house
I got her down to five

I've got a stick insect
He thinks himself so big
But if he steps out of line
I'll snap him like a twig

Let me be your salty dog
And I could be your man
I've been possessive in the past
As only a damn fool can
I'll have wine not beer, quiche not flan
But I draw the line at wearing fake tan

B.R.


*This poem is inspired by two great men - the mighty Blind Lemon Jefferson pictured above (although blind, fellow blues singer Victoria Spivey claimed he "could sure feel his way around") and Clifford Charles Devlin Thorburn, the snooker playing colossus aka 'The Grinder'. This nickname was a reference to his determined style of play (grinding out results and grinding down players), but it may also have been a nod to his rumoured prowess betwixt the sheets. Here is a reminder (for those of you who are as ancient as me) of perhaps his finest hour:

 

B.R. 15/01/2013