Morag

I shall never forget the weekend Morag died.
She was found face down in a shepherd's pie.
I felt as if I were the only person left
In Glendarroch; broken down and bereft,
Lost without my wife, my right hand, my wee stoatir,
My far-out Caley Thistle supporter.
My maw taught me never to talk to a lassie.
She said girls were hard, two-faced, too sassy.
Unco bonny Morag - Who knew you'd be so soft,
Working and living alone on the croft?
Kilt back from the cleaners, I dressed and hit the town.
You snuck in my heart while my guard was down.
(You wee mothersnucker...)

We were blissfully happy for those first few years
But lust turned to mistrust and laughter to tears.
Tatties mashed by a loveless hand with neeps too coarse
And such gristly mince it could only end in divorce.
With the gift of second sight, on the Sunday she said:
"Cò an caora sin còmhla riut a chunnaic mi an-raoir?"*
It was the last time that she'd mess with my head.
I made a trunk call to Dingwall and spoke to my lawyer.

B.R. 10/01/2013

* pronounced KAW uhn KEU-ra shin KAW-la root uh CHOO-nik mee uhn-royer which is Scottish Gaelic for "Who was that sheep I saw you with last night?" B.R.

 

The marvellous Jeannie Fisher as Morag Stewart in the long-running Scottish soap Take the High Road