The Falcon in Love

(Author's Note: The character of Gay Stanhope Falcon, later known in films and radio simply as The Falcon, was created in 1940 by Michael Arlen. The Falcon was quickly brought to the screen by RKO in 1941, in the film 'The Gay Falcon', in which he was redefined as a suave English gentleman-detective with a weakness for beautiful women. The splendid George Sanders appeared in the first three Falcon films but, tiring of leads in B pictures, he then handed the Falcon baton to his elder brother Tom Conway who starred in a further ten films.)

I lost my lovely lady
(Miss Vonetta de Villiers)
To a Scottish psycho
In a game of bar billiards.

He won her fair and square.
They left the bar together.
Now black clouds follow me
Whatever the weather.

Sometimes I hang around
Outside her bedroom window,
Playing the blues on my kazoo
In the shadows, incognito

Till that caledonian creep
Lifts up the sash and shouts
"Oi! Falcon! Get it up ye!
Why don't ye falcon falcoff?"

I can't work without her -
I don't know where to start.
A defective detective
With broken cue and broken heart.

But one day she will return,
Realise where she's meant to be.
She'll give her dainty mitten to
That bastard from Kirkcudbright.*

B.R. 20/08/2012

(* pronounced kirr-KOO-bree)

George Sanders with Jane Randolph in 'The Falcon's Brother' (1942)