The Keeper Is Up

The keeper is up

from darkest Hertfordshire,

on loan from Stevenage Borough,

staying in a Victorian mid-terrace

with no man's landlady Mrs Ennis

who makes a righteous mac 'n' cheese

and real Yorkshire puds on Sundays.

None of your Aunt Bessie's nonsense!

The keeper is up.

He's an early riser.

Yesterday, he was up and on the sofa

before the clarion call

of Homes Under the Hammer.

The last match, he started on the bench.

Ten minutes into the game, the gaffer

figured he might do better

if he was on the pitch,

doing the things that goalies do:

stopping shots, smoking tab ends

and keeping a clean(ish) sheet.

The keeper is up.

The clock is running down.

The sands are running out

of the Jimmy Hill hourglass.

The fans and fooligans are screaming

like the wind outside Captain Scott's tent.

The keeper is up

and channelling Chilavert.

The season hangs suspended

like a keeper from a crossbar.

B.R. 29.01.2023

Carlisle United legend Jimmy Glass.

Carlisle needed to win their final match of the 1998-99 season against Plymouth Argyle to avoid relegation from the football league. With the score 1–1 with only ten seconds remaining, and Carlisle winning a corner, goalkeeper Glass came up from his own penalty area and promptly scored a last minute goal, volleying the ball in after the Plymouth goalkeeper had parried out Scott Dobie's goal bound header. Carlisle got the win they needed and Scarborough were relegated to the Football Conference.