Christmas Ooh La La!

A Saturday morning in mid-December.

Nigel Slater
is browning off his meat,
a faraway look
in his mince pies.

Nigella Lawson
packs a festive punch
with rum, brandy and MDMA.
It's true what they say -
she IS a naughty lady!

The lovely Raymond Blanc,
a professional Frenchman,
softly whispers ooh la la!
like his fancy fowl
is another sort of bird,
slowly roasting in knickers and bra.

Pull the bone and make a wish!

Now I'm feeling a little peckish.
I might just reconstitute
a Batchelors Cup A Soup*
or grab that big bag of crisps
and lazily savour
their turkey flava...

B.R. 16/12/2017

 

 

*Other instant soup products are available. I hear that the powdered Ainsley Harriotts are particularly nasty.