The Flask of Zorro

Zorro parks his wagon, full of:

• bath robes and microbes
• snow globes and earlobes
• deely boppers
• toasty toppers
• Bop Its and Tamagotchis
• Elvis clocks and Big O watches
• some front and backless dresses
• Kaspar Hauser trouser presses
• fifty brand new NutriBullets
• Ian "Beefy" Botham's old mullets
• MDMA and TOWIE key rings
• them top of the range nitroglycerins
• two beauty spots and monstrous carbuncles
• some simple Simons and hard Garfunkels

and strides into a transport café,
where he orders the Nice and Greasy Does It:

• bacon
• hash browns
• mushrooms
• an especially turd-like Cumberland sausage
• two fried eggs
• fried bread
• and fried baked beans in a sautéed tomato jus

Whimsically, he also orders
a side dish of huevos rancheros
but this never arrives,
the waitress mistakenly thinking
that Z-Boy is clearing his throat.

At the next table
Ray and Dave Davies
are enjoying the All Day
and All of the Night breakfast.
They've been there for bleeding ages.
Longer than anyone can remember.
Although the tables are very close,
Zorro avoids all thigh contact
with his neighbours.

Spurning the caff's tea and coffee-style beverages,
Zorro pours a cuppa from his trusty thermos
and sups like a dehydrated dinosaur
that's happened upon an oasis in the desert.

Zorro picks up a squeezy bottle of HP
and, in a nod to his former existence,
draws a Z in three quick strokes
across his empty platter.
To think it has come to this!

Then, a stabbing pain
like a blade in the chest.
Zorro slumps face first
into congealing grease.

B.R. Leeds/Shipley 27/10/2017

Tyrone Power as Zorro