3000 Years a Jewson Slave

"Right, I'll need 10 million Jewson blocks, 28,000 bags of Jewson cement, 5000 cubic metres of Jewson sand, 2000 Jewson slaves, 900 Jewson shovels..."

- Ramases, the gaffer on the pyramid-building site, as played by the late great Peter Martin in the genius Jewson TV advert of the 1980s.

O! Great Pharaoh!

I don't care so

much about your pyramids

as you seem to suppose.

Listen up, bubba,

'cos here comes the headline:

I don't give a withered fig

about your stinking deadline.

"Great house" you call it?

Mate, it's not all that.

It's hardly Giza, geezer!

As a tomb, it's naff.

Go on then, whip me!

Come on, do your worst.

These bricks breathe evil.

This building site is cursed.

B.R. Leeds/Bingley 28.01.24

- What's that honking coming from the corner of the tomb?
- What's the matter, boy? You never heard of a sarcophagoose?
Drawing by B.R.