Epitaph

When they come to write my epitaph,

let them say that I lived "life to the max",

eating raw sausages,

shitting in bins,

wearing my green Hunter boots

with great insouciance

as I strutted down the stinking back streets

of this generic town.

When they come to take a chisel to my stone,

let them not forget that when

the moon was full, I got on all fours

and howled like Hokey Wolf

when he lost his winning lottery ticket.

For you've got to take life

by the horns and ride it

like a mechanical bull

riding a pantomime unicorn.

Beauty surrounds us all.

We must not hide it.

A spike in my vein.

The light shines in.

Shooting stars in my brain.

A different kind of bin.

You may say that none of this

is living "life to the max"

but this is my life

and my name is Max.

This is my boss, Jonathan Hart.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs H.

She's goy-jus.

B.R. 23.03.2022

In his most famous role, as Old Holborn-voiced majordomo (and sexpot for ladies of an uncertain age) Max in the ABC TV show Hart to Hart (1979-1984)