Yorkshire Day (Beefin')

(i)

Flat-capped and arse-slapped,

my pockets stuffed with parkin,

I proudly rode my whippet

round the racecourse at Ponte.

It's the longest horse racing circuit

in Europe, tha knows!

That's a Pontefract fact

or "Pontefact" if you prefer.

(ii)

I drove my whippet to Ladyskank Reservoir

(number twenty five

on the list of Places

to Look at From Your Car

Before You Die, as voted

by the readers of Dalesman magazine).

We waited patiently for a break in the rains,

like the juicy tears of jealous Lancastrians.

Seren(dipity) the whippet(ty) chewed at a pig's ear

while I chomped on a chocolate bar:

God's Own Bounty.

(iii)

Massed ranks of gimlet-eyed cattle

wait behind their grids

while ruddy faced gilet men

kitted out with liquorice sticks

wait for the signal to drill

for Henderson's Relish.

Hamstrung and unable to run,

beefin' in low-slung kecks.

B.R. 02/08/2020

Serendipity the Whippetty