Old Geezer

(I)

I am now at an age
where I should be
                             refining my reclining,

smoking bongs on chaise longues,
snoozing on gluten-free futons
and eating exquisite biscuits

in the comfort of my
upmarket downtown conservatory

but (alas!) I do not have one
and my biscuit selection
is looking pretty humdrum.

After you with the Bourbons!
Oh... you've had the last one...
no, I didn't really want a biscuit -
honestly, it doesn't matter...



(II)

I have reached the stage
where I simply cannot be bothered

to beat around the bush,
prevaricate about the privet hedge
or stall in the vicinity
of your shrubbery.

I AM GOING TO SPEAK MY MIND!

But because I'm old and knackered
I'm going to do this whilst
lying down on your lawn:

it's where I find I'm most loquacious.
The beetles, ants and
other crawling things
all find me totes bodacious!

B.R. 02/06/2019

Dr Zaius (Maurice Evans) warns his ape brethren about the "walking pestilence" of humanity in Planet of the Apes (1968)