Bradfordia (Queen o' t' North)

(i) Grapefruit

 

Bradford, compact

but not lacking

in attitude:

the Jimmy Cagney

of Yorkshire cities,

pushes a grapefruit

in your mush

and rotates it

through 360°.

 

 

Mae Clarke and James Cagney in The Public Enemy (1931). Picture NOT by B.R.

 

 

 

(ii) Goats of Baildon Green

 

Ye goats of Baildon Green

on unseen Thunderbird strings,

to you it's just a game

but it's my bloody sodding life.

I gave you everything,

the best years of my wife!

 

GOAT A (GERARD): Well, excuse me for butting in...

GOAT B ("FLASH" GORDON): Not by the hairs on thy double chinny chin!

 

 

 

(iii) Five-Rise

 

Listen!

My unwingèd brethren!

This is a multicultural canal!

Followers

of many different faiths

glide upon its surface.

Didst thou think

that swans, coots and geese

all share the same beliefs

and pray to one giant

 bird in the sky?

 

Waterfowl howl

to the heavens

(just as you or I),

save for the ducks

who don't give a flying

frangipane

for organised religion.

 

All species coexist peacefully

(except when they get it in their tiny heads

to peck the bejesus out of each other

for no readily apparent reason).

 

 

A boat passing through Bingley Five Rise Locks on the Leeds and Liverpool Canal. Picture by B.R.

 

 

 

(iv) The Unending Tendrils

 

Bradford,

the borough that brought you

Frederick Delius, J. B. Priestley,

Jonny Bairstow, Kiki Dee,

Rodney Bewes and Mollie Sugden,

Charlotte, Anne and Emily Brontë,

Harry Corbett, Billie Whitelaw,

Denis Healey and Timothy West,

Michael Rennie, David Hockney

(full list available on request).

 

Bonnie Bradfordians,

spread wide your unending tendrils

and see your BD beauty unfurled!

 

But put some bloody clothes on.

It's time to face the world.

 

B.R. October-December 2017

 

 

Burt Reynolds stencil art in Bingley. Picture by B.R.