The Dirt

 

 

The vacuum cleaner duel between James Dyson and Nick Grey had sashayed into its third day. Things were getting awfully tedious. The repellent participants vainly attempted to inject some excitement into their effete posturing with some Errol Flynn/Basil Rathbone-type cutting and thrusting.

 

   "You bagless buffoon!" Grey shouted down at his nemesis from the top of the stairs.

   "Go on. TOUCH THE DIRT!" Dyson screamed back, grappling with the revolutionary lightweight design of his opponent's weapon.

 

It was at this point, as the few remaining onlookers were drifting off into the shrubbery, that Chris Ewbank appeared and hit both hoovermen over the head with his shooting stick.

   "Take that, you thilly thauthages!" said the great man, his monocle shining like the sun.

 

B.R. 14/09/2017