The First Time/The Last Time

The first time I saw you

my monocle popped out of its socket

The first time I saw you

I almost fell off my shooting stick

The first time I saw you

my whiskers pinged and stood to attention

The first time I saw you

I quickly forgot the retired greyhound convention

The first time I saw you

I was struck dumb

left open-mouthed and gawping

like a lecherous goldfish

The first time I saw you

I got so hot

I had to strip down to my socks and pants

The first time I saw you

the vicar Royston Pippin

 didn't know where to put his face

and it completely changed the vibe

of the Sunday school picnic

The first time I saw you

What can I say?

We stood still

We all stood still

Still stood still

and nothing else in the whole world

seemed to exist

The first time I saw you

I thought What a cracking bird

and my wife psychically rebuked me

for being so sexist

The first time I saw you

it was like a beautiful thing waiting to happen

like a newly hatched butterfly about to take wing

or Shatner clearing his throat getting ready to sing

 

 

 

The last time I saw you

you were walking hand in hand

with a young man

built like something made from bricks

The last time I saw you

you were boarding a bus to Belper

(a Trentbarton number six)

The last time I saw you

you had my golf clubs slung over your shoulder

where once you'd had a sack of oven chips

The last time I saw you

you didn't look a single day older

despite the quick slick passing of the years

The last time I saw you

the light was dwindling
it was raining grey splashy tears
I had to turn on the wipers
on my binoculars

 

B.R. 16/09/2015