Red Kola Blues

She had no bizz taking the fizz
Out of my red kola.
She took the cork out of my bottle
And left me to go flat.

There was a time not long ago
When she brought my kettle to the boil,
Steamed my greens, roasted my spuds
And wrapped my cod piece in her foil,
But now I know cheese scone
And I fear that she won't come back again.

My cat told me: "She ain't no good",
The day that she moved in.
Two weeks later, he packed his bag
And went to stay with his dad in Sinfin.

She left me locked outside
When it started to rain,
She left me on the platform
While she got on the train,
She left me dazed and confused
In a car park in Norrköping,
She left me with custody
Of three quite heavy bags of shöpping.
She was the meanest thing
To ever come out of Heanor
And when that girl got mad,
Boys oh boys, you shoulda seen her.

But she's the best I ever had.
I've got to find out where she's stowed,
That's why I've got my briefcase in my hand
And I'm walking down Kedleston Road.

B.R. 22/07/2012

The author enjoying a red kola whilst watching his beloved Stranraer FC