Lawks! (An encounter with New Age conspiracist David Icke at Drake Fisheries in Shipley)

"When you survey the world today... when a child dies in this world of preventable disease every two seconds, when the economic system of this world must destroy the Earth simply for that system to survive; when you see all the wars, and when you see all the pain, and when you see all the suffering, is it a force of love and wisdom and tolerance that is in control of this planet?"
     - David Icke talking about politics and the environment on Wogan (broadcast on BBC1 on 29th April 1991).



Lawks!
I almost dropped
My plastic forks
In dismay
At the sight of David Icke
Framed in the doorway
Of my local chippy.

My eyes could not believe.
I took them out and
Rubbed them on my sleeve.
When I put them back
He was still there,
So I paid for my chips
And sat down in a chair.

The self-proclaimed saviour
Looked with disfavour
At the greasy haired
White coated cook;
The girl behind the till
With the scent of vinegar
And last season's lizard look.
It's pretty hard not to be annoyed
By reptilian humanoids.

Then I felt his hand on my shoulder.
He bent and whispered in my ear:
"What will you tell your kids
When they ask what you did
When the global fascist state was near?"
Well, it makes you think,
So I took a drink
Of my ginger beer
And I pondered.

My mind must have wandered.
Next thing I knew he was sat at my table,
Pointing his battered sausage at me, unable
To hide his contempt for
"The Sheeple of Shipley"
Then his face broke into
A cracked psychotic smile.
He was smirking
At my turquoise jerkin.
Then it came back to me -
Turquoise was a conduit
For positive energy.
I thought "Oh great!
Icke thinks that I'm his soul mate!"

We went on shooting the shit until black was the sky,
A Son of the Godhead, my fishcakes and I.
We talked of Anunnaki and monoatomic gold
Until my mushy peas went crusty and cold.

At last he rose to leave and said he was glad
There were others who saw through the illusion.
(But if reality is a world ruled by reptiles,
Then I'm happy to continue my confusion.)
I said I'd spread the word and he looked as delighted
As a man can who's played for Hereford United.

B.R. 11/06/2012


Icke identified the Queen Mother in 2001 as "seriously reptilian." B.R.

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