Oojah-Cum-Spiff (Fox Mess Jacket)

I went to the hunt ball in disguise
Wearing a moustache that had been made illegal in 1980
I got jacked up on champagne cocktails and Ferrero Rocher
Rushed in to rescue you when that Tarquin blighter got too matey

I carried you off to The Temple of Glove Love
Where sexual gauntlets were thrown down most audaciously
I started to feel that you might be the one
And so paraded my infatuation ostentatiously

Later when I had fully satisfied myself
That you were chock-full to the brim with fizz and ginge
I let the mask slip, let you behold the quivering buffoon
Behind the oh-so-foolish Carlton Palmer fringe

And you said "It really doesn't matter..."

Hours later when we stepped out onto the gravel driveway
I said "I hope we can do this again. Honk honk."
She breathed in the malted morning air and said
"Toodle-oo my handsome stranger. Until later, tinkerty-tonk."

B.R. 23/03/2006

Sheffield United's Alan Cork and Sheffield Wednesday's Lord Carlton of Palmer at Wembley during the famous FA Cup semi-final of 1993. They later attended a Steel City Hunt Ball where they came to blows over a haunch of venison. B.R.