The Venerable Bede

The Venerable Bede came round to tea.

What can I say? He was one haughty mofo.

He fixed me with his venerably beady eye

and motioned me to the dinette.

Was I meant to roll out the red carpet?

We sat stiffly on high back chairs,

made polite but desultory chat

about theology, scripture, last night's MAFS.*

Then he said being venerable was thirsty work.

I took the hint, could see he was restive.

I made him the finest He-Man hued brew

and brought forth the sainted digestives.

He said he was partial to a Tunnock's Snowball

or one of Mrs Crimble's macaroons.

I said I had better things to do

than hoover up coconut all afternoon.

Oh well, I guess it could have been worse.

Mrs Schweinehund (at number twenty eight)

had to host an impromptu lunch

for "Call Me Al" (Alexander the Great).

B.R. 30.09.23

*MAFS: Married at First Sight is a British television programme where couples are matched "scientifically" by a panel of "experts", meeting just minutes before they marry.

A depiction of the Venerable Bede from the Nuremberg Chronicle, 1493.