The High Road

A smoky wraith

viewed from a train window,

with whitesheet face

like redoubtable Mrs Mack

in West of Scotland

witchfinder's hat,

just come in

from the vegetable patch,

flushed from wringing

the necks of carrots.

O malevolent spectre

in terraces of heather,

with blacksheep face

like gamekeeper Davie Sneddon,

mooching around Sam Hagen

(his love interest

slash archnemesis),

simultaneously horny and peevish:

"What brings you here tonight, David?"

"A Range Rover with a dint in the bonnet."

As the village shop

fills with water from the loch,

Isabel stands aloof

with paper bag and metal scoop,

disgorging a quarter

of soor plooms.

Muir of Ord - Dingwall - Garve - Lochluichart.

Dougal's in the pub, getting bleutered.

B.R. 26.11.2022

The marvellous Derek Lord as Davie Sneddon, the best soap villain of them all, in Take the High Road. Just look at how he's rocking that leather jacket, the kind of leather jacket that can only be purchased from a random stranger in a pub car park.