The Ruins of Christmas

I've had enough of Christmas:

the collective loss of reason

during the festive season;

the endless enforced jollity;

the senseless consumerist orgy.

 

This year I'm going to do it.

Do what? I hear you aks.

 

 

I'm going to creep downstairs,

take down all the cards,

remove every last bit of tinsel,

kick the shit

out of a tin of Quality Street

and put all the stockings

back where they belong

(on the lower extremities

of my relatives).

 

Then I'm going to make a ladder

(out of ten feet of mint Matchmaker),

climb to the top of the tree

and bite the head off

of that damned fairy,

before pouring myself

a pint of Baileys

and trying to disguise myself

as a giant rough-puff pastry mince pie,

while waiting for the descent

of the red and white-suited

bi(North)polar buffoon.

 

I'll teach him

to empty his sacks

in my living room...

 

B.R. 20/12/2016